When will I turn four? Am I four now? now? now?

Milosh went to one of his closest friend's birthday parties - and loved it of course - and then right out of the party he said he is 4 also. He could not bear the idea of being that different from his buddy. He said he needs a party (so he will be officially 4) - and of course waiting for a few weeks for the birthday was not an option. With an imminent break-down, my creative mind came up with the idea of asking him to look for his birthday party. We kept driving - and he kept looking for his birthday party so he could turn 4 ;) We didn't find the birthday party but we did reach home safely!

The few weeks till his birthday he would tell everybody that he is already 4. But hearts of his heart he knew he was bluffing. I had kept the Curious George book of birthday surprise by the bedside through these weeks to build the excitement of his birthday.

Then came his real birthday, he woke up much earlier than usual and I kept mum so he would sleep for another hour. The next thing I knew he was singing happy birthday to Milosh :) We cut some cake at home and then went to school. Cake cutting at home

Now was the most special part of the day. Milosh had diligently checked if we had the pictures and the snacks - he made sure we were ready. There is a cute little ceremony that happens in his school. All kids sit in a circle, the birthday boy wears a crown, holds the earth and walks around the sun - sharing pictures of all his earlier years. All the kids sing cute songs - 52 weeks, 365 days in a year etc. Then the birthday boy gives a treat to everyone, takes the first bite; and the teacher says - Bon Appetit, you may eat! Milosh was glowing with all the attention and his parents sitting and watching him with his class friends! Check out the video below. He has probably done this for so many kids in school - this was the idea of turning 4 - a mandatory ritual. He came to me - and said - now I am 4! Now he really knew he was 4.

Birthday Circle in school

He would tell everyone with his little fingers how old he is - and he seems so proud of it! The next evening we had a party in a beautiful outdoor park like last year. Milosh was curious how old he turns now with this party (considering he was already 4 the day before) - clearly every party is turning him older to a new number :) We loved having our friends over to a park, eating pizza and cake (all of this is the standard menu for birthday parties in America - and since everyone does this - this has become synonymous with birthday food) We got a clown entertainer this year. She must have done a good job - because the kids were happy; and we even had a little party crasher - there were 4 parties in the park that day - and this little girl just came over to hang out with our party :) Given Milosh's craze about cars - the decoration, the plates and cake was of the theme racing cars. He was dressed in a lightning mcqueen shirt and boots (and even underwear ;))

After the games, and the magic show and the cake - kids went to play in the play area. Milosh looks so happy with his buddies - he could not be any happier! Birthday Party pictures

When his best friend started going home, he ran after him all the way to the car - thats the one person to whom he wanted to give a return gift (everything else is managed by mommy and daddy) I was telling his mom that these kids are ready for a sleep over :)

He was tired beyond words. No nap before the party; and massive excitement during the party! I don't think is physically possible to be more excited. He slept in the car in just a few minutes. That gave mommy and daddy time to "manage" the gifts ;)

The next day when I went to pick him up from school, he was disappointed and said I turned 3 again. I said oh no, what happened. He said this room where you are picking me up from is a room for 3 year olds! Thankfully we took the help of a teacher and she made all kids of ages 4,5 and 6 raise their hands. Milosh was then assured that he is indeed 4! This being 4 is just like a balloon - it keeps bouncing back and forth, always at a risk of bursting, but SO MUCH FUN!

Being Gluten-free - Manly or not?

Now that I have turned (mostly) vegan and gluten-free Milosh is always concerned when I don't eat something that he offers me. If I say no, he gets a little disappointed and asks me - this is not vegan. Sometimes he also overprotects me - he would say - don't eat the apple its not vegan! :)

Now Anuj is also in the process of changing his diet. Here is a snippet from Anuj's Facebook:

Its funny how kids build these ideas of what is manly and what is feminine. He often will not get any broken toys to me for repairing (which in my defense I can repair!) and daddy rarely qualifies for morning hugs. In the evening when we were laughing about this conversation, Milosh explained that he would have two mommies if daddy became gluten-free also!

Men at work!

Today was the selected day for some yard work. Anuj went and got some tools from Home Depot - making sure he had the kiddie version of them. By the time Milosh came home - Anuj had to step out for a bit. Milosh saw the yard with the tools - and his excitement knew no bounds and he could hardly wait for dad! 

I remember the times when we used to get help for yard work - and Milosh even as a baby would be glued to the window watching those men at work! They were the coolest people he could imagine!

After dad was here - they were both contentedly at work - for hours. He is sharing more and more interests with dad - cars, football, legos and yard work. Not sure how I feel about losing my monopoly here ;) - but one this is for sure - My little boy is growing up! 

First Birthday Card really written by Milosh

Sweet keepsake memory. Milosh wrote all of this - and made the fish (well with a little bit of help from mommy) Made extra special by the fact that it was the first birthday of Adil, son of Dee (friend of mine from IIT)

Mothers' day 2015

Milosh's school had a cute little tea party for moms of kids. The kids had made some cute little things for moms and were supposed to serve us some iced tea and pastries. We reached there - and we all had fixed seating. I had a slightly hard time finding my spot - because my baby's name was written by him and took a while for me to read ;) I said oh thats a cute card you made - and he said - no Ms. Bevens (his teacher) made it. He doesn't know to pretend yet :) He also told me how one of his classmates had twisted his card and Ms. Westerlund had to make it flat again. Anyway after we settled, I asked if we should get some food/ drinks. He said he is not hungry. I had to tell him that the idea is for kids to go get food for their moms. When he got the hang of it - he kept getting me juice and fruits and cakes. And would not stop :)

Joys of being a mom of a 4 year old...

I should have maintained this at different stages in Milosh's life. Now its not sleepless nights, or potty training aftermath, but nevertheless there are some very joyful things moms of 4 year olds get to enjoy. Here are some that come to mind:

• Dealing with a proposal to buy a new toy almost every day, sometimes even right after buying a new toy on the same day (with varying intensity) See picture right outside a shop. 
• Open the car door to a really bad stink - to discover a day old blend of coconut water and cheese crackers in the cup holder of the car seat.
• A car that is in deep need of cleaning - every day. Nuts, crackers, half eaten fruits, stones, sticks, art work from school, clothes, toys, papers from piano/ math class (I could go on).
• Having the driver's seat kicked while driving because you are not going to a desired destination (often a toy store or just "not home") 
• Walking around tiny pieces of lego on your way to the rest room at night.
• Walking back to a 7/11 to pay for the Cheetos that were shop-lifted and then the next day holding back your breath as you see those Cheetos being chopped with a scale on the floor.
• Picking up tiny pieces of dried play-dough from the carpet.
• Kicking away tiny toy cars as you move through the kitchen while cooking a meal.
• Finding some candies and other sugary things, you hid in a hurry many days ago so they don't get discovered by your toddler.
• Non-negotiable "help" in cooking and doing dishes.
• Muddy shoe-prints from yard to shoe closet; right after housekeeping.
• Paying for things in grocery store that have teeth dug into them.
• Constant knocking on the door when you are in the toilet of a restaurant; addressing loud questions like - "are you doing pee-pee or poo-poo".
• Telling the housekeeper to skip the toy room - because you don't want her to quit. See picture below. 
• Walking into the restroom - to see toilet paper and hand towel all over the floor, and a clean full roll neatly placed in the dustbin. 
• Hoping the toothpaste has not dried yet in the tube without the cap. 

• 

  Most recently, in a shop after breaking his promise for not asking for a toy, he held my leg and would not let go. The people crossing us were sympathizing - saying - we've been there. 

Soul Food Coffeehouse

Sometimes I like to take Milosh to places like restaurants/ cafes which have a kids corner - because that lets him play with new toys and I don't have to buy those toys for him. Its just a good change when we want to be indoors - and sometimes I can do my own thing while he plays.

It had been working really well last couple of times at this place called "Soul Food Cafe" in Redmond. They have a train set (with bridges) that Milosh really loves. We go there often - especially in late evenings when they have some easy laid back live music. There was this one time we went past their closing time but he was determined to play with that train set - and kept standing at the door. It so happened that the owner was inside - doing her books -and let him in for a few minutes. He enjoyed playing there but we had to explain to him that standing at the door of closed shops will not work always :)

Now we have one more story in that same shop - which will not work always. We went there day before yesterday - and Milosh enjoyed playing with some cars in the kids corner. He fell in love with one of the cars there (Francesco Bernoulli) - and would not part from it. "I wish I could take this home". I explained to him about how this belongs in the shop, and how he can always come here to play etc etc and of course he would not budge. The car fit neatly in his pocket and taking it out seemed non-negotiable. I really did not have the energy for handling a melt down and using force (he is pretty big for that now). My mind started racing thinking - how the hell do I teach him that this is wrong - you can't just take what you like from a community shop. Before panic would set in, I reminded myself of what I read in the book "The Conscious Parent".  The author states that every mistake is to be celebrated and is an important opportunity to impart a value. I decided to not panic and make him talk to the owner. We went to them - and we shared my son's "love" for this car - and that he wanted to take it. I knew the owner has been a Montessori teacher - and was pretty sure would do just the right thing - and she did. She told him that its okay for him to take the car - but she did make sure she made him show the car that he was taking - making it clear to him that he can get in a lot of trouble if he took the car without asking. The baristas and the staff were all standing there - and looking cutely at the little guy. As grateful as I was, sheepishly I asked if we could pay - and the owner said - no I don't even know who got these cars here. But I asked Milosh if he would bring 5 toys from home to donate in this place - and he agreed.

On the way back home - I told him - you got a car because of other people's kindness - and now its your turn to be kind. Next day we got a box and put together some of his old toys that he was willing to part with. He happily helped me load the car with the box; and we drove to the shop. No signs of parting woes at all. We placed the toys in the kids corner - and told the young barista from yesterday what we were here for. She said very sweetly that we didn't have to do that, and that watching him yesterday with that car was the sweetest thing and asked us to wait for a bit. I was feeling so proud of myself - how I had turned around a tough situation and actually helping him to experience the value of giving. The book was right! I also told him we can come here anytime when you want to play with the toys you are donating. He asked if he could play for some time - and I said yes sure (there was live music to keep me busy). Everything was great, until Milosh showed a yellow car and said "I wish I had this car at home" Uh oh!! All my glory of great parenting went out the door, and I started blurting the usual threats "I will never get you here again" "No toys for a week" blah blah blah. My throat started to hurt but he stood his ground and made it pretty clear that he was not going to be talked out of taking this car with him. By the time the barista came, I was feeling ultra-embarassed, worried about what habits he is making and absolutely didn't know what to do. We finally told her that we are going to have to take yet another car today. She readily said oh thats okay - thats how it should be right, you bring in some toys, you take some toys.

It was that simple :) She stated it really well - and thats really how the kids' world operates. All my high and mighty principles and values are a desperate attempt to impose the rules of the grown ups on to the kids and at best just "whatever" in their real world. Every time I set out to teach a lesson, I am humbled with one I learn.

The two cars Milosh got from Soul Food Cafe