Speaking Hindi for jalebi, like jalebi.....

Rhea and Milosh had been promised one jalebi for dessert if they spoke 5 Hindi sentences with each other. There is no better way for them to learn Hindi than to talk with each other. Luckily for us, they both seem to have a similar level and we have been able to successfully incentivize them into speaking Hindi. On our way back from dinner, during the car ride they started coming up with a story in Hindi - with each kid taking a turn to say one sentence each. This is actually a standard improv exercise.

It worked out really well - what we recorded was actually the second story already. While Rhea was really into this exercise for jalebis (she kept count of sentences - 5 for one jalebi ;)), I think Milosh started enjoying the process more :) - it was his idea to do a second story.

Enjoy the jalebis :) Link to audio is here

Goodbyes are hard....

Milosh had a lovely summer - home with his dada and dadi.  

Posted by Anuj Malhotra on Friday, July 3, 2015

He spent a lot of time biking, playing with legos and other toys at home, he really got into writing numbers. 1000 is his new biggest number - thousand is the new 5 ;) He also got better with his Hindi! He enjoyed the fares and other such summery things. We also made a bunch of small road trips, the recent most being to Mt. Rainier national park - where we stayed in a cabin for a night. He also went to California for a week.

Time as always flies and a week after the California trip was time for his grandparents to leave. We knew he was super attached to them - and had been constantly trying to warm up his mind that he would have to say bye. He on the other hand was trying to get us to let him go to India with his grandparents. "Can I please go to aNoida for 1000 days? I will not even hit dada dadi. Will you please let me go?" As parents we constantly try to do our best for our kids - and to them we are often their ruler/ jailor - their biggest roadblock to ultimate freedom :)

I think he did know that he was not going to go but he was in a denial for a very long time. If his dadi said, we will miss you, he would pretend and say - but why. Our hearts were heavy as the bags were getting packed. Milosh got his little suitcase and placed it next to theirs - for it to get packed.

I also explained to him that we don't have a ticket for him; and we don't have enough money right now to buy the tickets. He found 6$ from where we keep change and went and put it in his dadi's pocket - saying I have put the money for tickets.

What had been my biggest fear for weeks was about to happen. He had been the king of their world for the whole summer - and the kind of love and attention grandparents can give - can not be matched. We finally reached the airport to drop them and when the luggage was unloaded from the car - he said where is my bag? I had to tell him again he can not go - he said thats okay I can get things from aNoida. I then took help from airport staff - and made them tell him that he can not go without a ticket. He kept pretending to not hear them.

Finally at security check we had to hold him back as he sobbed his hearts out; as did his daadi. It was quite a scene at the airport - and everyone was feeling emotional. They were still within reach - though in the queue - his dada kept passing chocolates to him through other people in the queue. It was awful :( - I had never seen Milosh so sad. It was physically challenging to keep him away - he kept wanting to go with them. But they had to go!

We went to the nearest starbucks to get some hot chocolate and tea. We were all feeling exhausted and empty. The next few hours felt very weird. We didn't know what to do - we often just drive when we feel like that. Milosh was surprisingly much better already and unlike what I had expected, I felt I was breaking down too. As is always the case in such transitions, my mind went through the entire exercise of why are we living in USA; why can we not let him be with his grandparents; and I give permission to my heart to miss my country, my home. And each time I feel I had a great time here in USA, but now I am ready to move back. But this time I feel like may be we are one step closer to deciding to move back.

We got home and Milosh kept wanting to talk to his grandparents. It was hard for us to explain to him that they can not talk when they are flying. "But I am only asking to talk on the phone...."  I had asked his dada dadi to record a book for him while he was sleeping, its called "God loves you and I do too."  He opened the book and was so so happy to hear their voice in the book. He kept smiling and listening to the book over and over again - and kept chuckling, kept repeating it, trying to memorize all the words, and commenting "Really dadi - you love me so much?"

Then after some time I found him hitting the book - and later he explained the book won't talk back to him - its not even saying hello back. "Why are dada dadi not even saying hello to me, I love you to me?" He said he really wanted to talk to them. He made me call up his grandparents even though they were in flight. But obviously the call was not answered. I told him, you know they are saying I love you to you - you just have to be very quiet and close your eyes and you will be able to listen to it. Children are so amazing, he did become very quiet and closed his eyes for some time :)

The next day was much better, I took him to a fair, where he had a lot of rides. The next day we were finally able to Skype with his grandparents and he showed them the whole book again - made them listen to each page :)

Tables turning already....

We have gone out several times without kids, we have left Milosh for up to 4 days with his grandparents - and he did great without mom and dad. Even though it always came with a little bit of guilt, we would be the ones enjoying (or so we think) - going scuba diving, or staying longer in Goa leaving Milosh with his dada dadi. And I knew the tables were going to turn some day (when he would be the one calling the shots and going out to enjoy and we'd be waiting for him) - but did not expect the tables to turn at the ripe age of 4!

This time Milosh's grandparents are going to California for a week - and he declared he wants to go also.  We did not really have a plan (for us) and we were not looking for baby sitting - but he really wanted to go. I tried to talk him out (so his grandparents will get some kid-free time) - I told him about his friend's birthday party, I told him we would take him to fun places etc etc. But no - he fully understood what California is - we have our Aunt there and Milosh has visited them many times. He knows he would stay there - he remembers the dog, the swimming pool, his friends there - everything. It was hard for me to make up my mind to let him go (it always is) - but he was fully convinced that he was going - and he even understands the concept of time - he knows what 6 days are. I had to finally give in.

Its funny that most couples our age would pounce at the idea of being kid free for a week - and make loads of plans - especially since we are both on a sabbatical right now even vacation is not a problem. We did go through our thought process - we thought through a few vacation ideas - but it felt too forced - going just because this seems like a golden opportunity. We decided to prioritize our interviews etc - and stay at home. (I know!!)

But someone is going to have fun - he already loves our aunt and uncle and has a fabulous time with his kids - whenever they are around; of course he would not be away from his dada dadi for even a few minutes; additionally our aunt told she has things lined up for Milosh - kids yoga, pool side party making cakes!! Icing on the cake :)

I told Milosh I will miss him - and just like I comfort him when I am going for short trips, he said the exact same things - I will miss you too. I am going for a very short time. You count till 6 and I will be back :) I sure will miss my baby - I already watched all silly videos of him on my phone and I think I might blog more this week.