Adjusting to new environment

Kids are so good at adjusting. I am amazed at how easy going Goja has been in India. Its a completely different environment - no school, no daddy, no home with roomful of toys and books.  Some transitions were harder than others - also dependent on how jetlagged/ tired he was. He landed in Noida - and loved being pampered with dada and dadi. They called that house "India home" - and he said he loves his India home. Very soon, still jet lagged he went to his "chennai home" - where he had to "compete" with another 11 month old. Initially he didn't like it - a day later - he loved chennai home as well. Then we took a train to Kerala - to spend a month in Kotakkal - and he now loves his "Kerala home".

Not only does he adapt, lately he "loves" a multitude of things!

The list of things Goja has adapted to - is pretty long :) - but I will definitely list a few here:
- Wiping his hands on his pants (Lot of restaurants don't have a blower or towels)
- Hearing a grown up book at bedtime- because mommy left all his books with baby Samarth.
- Strangers touching his cheeks and telling him how cute he is.
- Drinking hot bournvita instead of cold milk with straw.
- Makeshift toys and works- yesterday he "loved" cutting extra wool that naani was knitting. he loves writing alphabet with naana.

Some things he will not give up on:
- Wearing girl pants and socks - no matter the weather! One person recognized we are from US - because she recognized the PJ sets ;)
- playing with cars - thats the one game he consistently plays with - he can spend a lot of time by himself. Only autos have been added to this battalion.

Kaua le gaya

Goja and naana share a special dynamic - wrt kaua! Goja asks for all kinds of things and sometimes wants to throw them or create a general mischief - what comes to rescue is kaua. Naana gives these things to kaua - and tells Goja - "kaua le gaya". Over the course of few weeks (each trip with naan a) Kaua becomes very rich and has a ton of things - candies, tv remotes, scissors, needles - you name it :)
Goja completely gets this consequence (I don't think he actually thinks a real crow comes and takes it - but he does know that once a thing is gone to kaua he is not going to be able to reach it).  Sometimes he even says - no, no don't give this to kaua. At other times, he has threatened us saying he will give something to kaua :) Most recently though - Goja was doing a big mischief by jumping on his mommy. Looking at his naana's expression - he knew where this was headed - he quickly clarified and reassured himself- "Kids don't belong to kaua" :)

How travel changed my perspective ....

I am in between jobs and took the opportunity to do a few things in India during my sabbatical. It was  an obvious choice that Goja would come with me. As I was leaving Seattle, I was still feeling awful changing his world for 3 months, away from home/ daddy/ school - and was also partly scared as to how I am going to constantly entertain a 3.5 year old boy; and not get into too many shouting drills.  I managed to schedule a 15 min session with Goja's teacher - which helped reassure to me that this will be a good thing for him; she was also kind enough to share her observations about what things Milosh is drawn to the most right now. With her suggestions, I had loaded myself with lots of crafts and activities.
Saying bye to daddy was very hard - G almost decided to stay in Seattle at one point ;) But G was such a delight to be with during the flight! We actually had so much fun! We did a few activities, played some video games. He made such adorable observations all along!10 days into the trip and the trend continues. So many realizations come to me:
1. The best part of my trip is to be able to hang out with my 3.5 yr old - this 1-1 easy going time is super awesome and super precious! He is at this stage in life - where time with mommy is very precious for him still - he is more than happy to do anything where mommy would engage whole heartedly with him! We color together, we play puzzles together, we play soccer, cricket - its a blast! I am sneaking in some hindi vocab sessions every now and then ;) - which he is only too glad to absorb. I am also trying to sneak in some understanding of swaras :) It was such a thrill for me to realize that he can now recognize the numbers 0-7; and a few letters! I am really loving being with him in an unhurried way - just as a child's world really is. Its also amazing how little his demands and needs are. He is adapting so well to any place or structure that I am taking him to.  He doesn't need any of the fancy toys, any of the fancy classes or fun places that I used to constantly worry about!
2. It occurs to me that what he might learn with me is probably a lot more meaningful to him than what he would learn in school. As cliched as it sounds, the best thing I can do for my child and my relationship with him is give him undivided attention. Attention is a rare commodity when we have such busy lives to run - but I can clearly see how much difference it can make to every aspect of his life - not just learning/ perceiving etc - but also the bond that we can build through this attention is amazing. Its sad that when our lives our busy, our interaction with the child is mostly limited to some basic things - food, sleep, bath - but not much beyond it. Some power struggles had also started to emerge - that I had started to get worried about. E.g. planning to get out the door by 8.15 am would almost make me stop my breath.  Even otherwise I found myself doing something else like cooking, cleaning etc while "managing" the child around me. Although things would not be as rosy as they are in a sabbatical, I am now starting to think of how I would restructure our routine to put more life into our time together. Stepping up volunteering in school so I have a better understanding of his world, planning a few 1-1 activities (hobby crafts etc are pretty cool I think) - are some starting points. I am sure the day is not too far out when G will be too busy for us - I better make full use of it before its too late :)  I can't imagine someone wanting to take a sabbatical to connect more  with their child - but it can be totally worth it!

And then you'll take me to a fun place?

I love to take you to fun places - beaches, parks, some kids aquatic place, gym class, music class, soccer class - you name it! I myself love to go to fun (for me) places - in fact I constantly struggle with how to pace it - so I am not driving myself nuts by planning for one too many fun things. Its almost like I have a huge fun backlog and need to go on having more and more fun. Fortunately, with you I have been pacing it just right (well, so far at least ;)) But when you grow up, and find yourself suffering from the "fun syndrome", you can almost certainly tell, you got it from me.
Your dad likes to have fun too - but the pace and choices are sometimes just a little different. I still remember when your dad was going to visit me in Seattle for the first time, I had made an elaborate plan of the top things to see, do, eat etc - and your dad said, I just want to be home with you! I have to admit that idea was a huge eye-opener for me! I didn't think it was possible to visit a place and not rush from checklist point A to B. So I have gotten a lot better about pacing ourselves in vacations and not obsessing about including every can't-be-missed thing in our itinerary. But left to me (like the recent London trip I did with you, Rhea and Vibha aunty), I will always err on the side of cramming a lot; and I see myself doing that for a few more years at least. After that I might focus on the quality of fun instead of quantity. Gotta be true to myself ;)
Anyway, back to you - you are definitely showing healthy signs of the fun syndrome; you love going to fun places - in fact, on weekends when we are driving around, you keep checking where we are going next; you are almost ready to throw a tantrum if you figure we are going home. Now that we can talk and reason with you, we tell you, you need to take a nap. And you immediately ask "And then you'll take me to a fun place?". Sometimes in the morning you wake up and declare - its no school day, yay! but after seeing that we are not really impressed; you say - "after school you'll take me to a fun place?"
Now the good news is - very simple things are fun for you - for our own satisfaction, we might take you to fancy places for fun, but you are happy to walk/ bike around the block, get mail from the mail box or even make a trip to a nearby grocery store - these are still exciting and new enough for you at this stage :) There are days when we are engrossed in our own computers or own things, and you are happy to make a day of jumping on the couch or rolling on the carpet. We have also not hesitated from tagging you along on some of our fun things - e.g. we take you with us for movies (as long as they are not violent etc)
But given a choice, you do prefer to go to places! "Out" was one of the first few words you picked up. You didn't even know the word inside. [The one time that you wanted to be inside was when we were doing firecrackers for Diwali outside and you were really scared of the sound. You communicated you wanted to go inside by pointing inside the house and saying "I want to go outside" - the other outside ;)] You need an ongoing supply of entertainment. You will often ask - "and then what we will do", "and then what we will do next".
I still remember Pooja was visiting from NYC and we decided to meet for dinner; and you were with us; and then when we dropped her, you were so disappointed - It was late in the night, but "where are we going now", "what we will do next".
Once we had to tell you we will take you to pumpkin patch next; and then you fell asleep in the car. And when you found yourself awake at home and not pumpkin patch, oh man - it was a very challenging evening.
You are still young, and the current culture is for parents to take kids from one organized play to another (as the author of book "Play" puts it) - the "onus" is on us to find a series of fun things for you :) It reminds me of the phrase "naach basanti" (from the movie Sholay). Kudos to the insatiable desire for fun :) - that's the way to be!

I smell poo-poo!

Now when you read a title like that - you might think this was said while being in some far away adventure land, where unexpected things can happen; like a remote untouched place where we are searching for life - and "I smell poo-poo" might be a clue.
No sir - you say this everyday - that's right when you do poo-poo in the comfort of your own toilet and your own home! The reason - you want someone to stand right next to you and spray an air freshener every time you smell poo-poo. It does not help that you don't like the sound of the exhaust.
It has been a few months since you have been potty trained, but you don't like to go alone - so when you need to go pee-pee or poo-poo - you hold your pee-pee and start to jump around; and this is followed by us asking you if you need to go potty; and you say "yes, you come" and then we say "no, you go". This goes back and forth till one party concedes. That party is typically us, because clearly you don't have anything to lose. If we don't come, you engage yourself in some other play, and the clock is ticking on us. So what if we are in the middle of cooking, or eating or an engaging TV show or whatever else.
So in summary, at about 3 years of age - your ideal scenario is that someone should accompany you to the toilet, and then keep spraying every couple of minutes! That's it - not asking for too much! This is actually still a win from a few months ago - when you actually expected to be entertained when in the toilet - "read me a book, tell me a story". Thankfully, we never got into mixing digital devices and toilet for you!

The water sprayed herself, and the toilet paper became bigger and bigger...

You must have heard - for many great pieces of art and literature - the artist/ creator says this just came through me - almost like it created itself. Same becomes true for mischief with my little boy. It just comes through him! Read on.

One of our toilets has a water spray for sanitation. He recently discovered how to use this. And the next thing you know - is that he is holding it and spraying water all over the bathroom. This was too thrilling! Soon the bathroom mats were soaking wet - as was the floor. It was one of those days, when I thought taking advice from the books on parenting would be ideal - so I stepped to another room to keep myself from going berserk and to take the time to restore my cool. After some time (I suppose after his heart's content of spraying), he came to me - he knew I was not exactly thrilled about this - so he came to explain the situation to me. He explained the complete mechanics of how that spray works - with very emphatic (and extremely cute) gestures; ending it with "The water sprayed herself". To a casual passerby, it might have looked like a little boy fighting tooth and nail to keep the water spray in his hands; and spraying all over the room - but in reality it was water spraying "herself" ;)

Same day a few minutes later, he went to the toilet - and grabbed the toilet paper and of course ran around. Something about my facial expressions must have indicated to you that it needs to be rolled back. So we did this exercise of rolling a few yards of toilet paper back together - where I was trying to make it look like you are the one who is rolling it back - while trying to make sure the paper actually aligns on the little holder. This turned out to be so much fun for him, that he thought of repeating this - when I was not looking of course. I went downstairs for something - and when I come back - I see the toilet paper is rolling all the way down the stairs. Your response to my reaction (which mainly comprised screaming) - "Mommy, the toilet paper became bigger and bigger"
Much like Alice in Wonderland I suppose!
 

Which show mommy?

I have a little bracelet - which has a turquoise like stone embedded in it. You looked at my bracelet and asked if we could press the blue button to open the bracelet. I said - no its just for show.
"Which show, mommy"

(You know show as a stage performance right now :))

The Day we called Poison Control....

You always like to do things yourself! When you get hungry - you go to the pantry and hunt for food. You had recently started moving around the bar stool to gain new heights. You had also recently discovered the treasure that awaited you in the medicine cabinet.

Lo and behold - the next thing we see is a hungry little man standing on kitchen counter enjoying his little beverage (of an infant fever reducer of course). We call Poison Control; and we do the math of how much we managed to snatch from you; and how much was there originally and your weight etc - and they said you are out of danger! Phew! I still wonder how you knew exactly which bottle to pick from that lot! Your mom thinks you can open those child lock things; your dad thinks the bottle was not well sealed. Anyway, we did the post mortem of the situation and took some corrective measures - as did you. You figured how to sneak in there when no one's looking, do it quietly and drink it faster!

Few days later, we were on a skype call with your naani. You took the opportunity to sneak behind your mom; you were almost ready to climb up when your naani told me to look behind! Ha! Bet you didn't expect us to team up against you!

I bet those who make the kids' medicines so yummy have no idea of the story like this one. I am sure I am not the only freaked out parent making such calls - and hopefully Poison Control Department will provide them the feedback! To be fair - we had hardly introduced you to the joys of sugar till then; now I am sure you can think of yummier things to party on than an Ibuprofen!

Your Dental Stories

Like all parents, we were trying to get you to start brushing your teeth - can't remember when - but sometime after you had your teeth. I do remember we had to graduate from those soft brushes which the parents put on their finger and bravely put in their infants' mouth. Ouch!
And like all kids - you didn't see any value in simply following what you are being told - especially by parents! Who comes to rescue - Bruno Mars' Brush your teeth song! While the video came in pretty handy originally, to this day we use this song to make sure you spit (and not eat the "yummy" paste) - Brush, brushie, brush, brushie, brush, brush - SPIT.

I do remember we had a hard time making you stop brushing your teeth for a few weeks :)

Dental facts about you - your first year check up was at a proper clinic by Dr. Gregory Nash. But that was before Kunal chachu moved to Seattle! Yay! Your 2 year check up happened on our own living room couch in all of 60 seconds; over tea ;) And your third year check up ... oops!! I heard Megha Chachi recently became an orthodontist - time to call them over to dinner again ;)

Your growing up has made flossing with a real floss a secret solitary indulgence for me! You will see why: Big Brushie video of Milosh That's right - you have to empty any floss that comes your way. What we are left with is those kiddie flosses.

Now that we can talk you into things, we have told you that not brushing your teeth can lead to holes in your teeth ;) ball's in your court - you chase us to get your teeth cleaned! So glad this is not a blog on parenting advice ;) We recently dropped you to one of the parents' survival night things for a movie night at your school - we had left your brush and paste as well. Apparently you educated them about how not to get holes in your teeth. When picking you up, the teacher told us she is going to use this one!

Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood

God bless the creators of Daniel Tiger. We cannot imagine a more age appropriate content that gives all the right messages and aids in getting you to be still (so we can feed you or dress you up etc - yes, your skill sets vary a lot between school and home). Its either Rhea or Daniel Tiger who can get through to you in a way that's far more convincing than anyone or anything else.
These episodes make you aware of an alternate way to be - and is sometimes an eye opener for you- "Look Mommy, Daniel Tiger is not crying to go to school". The key messages are in the form of a hummable jingle - and they repeat it enough times that at the end of an episode you sing it too.

"you gotta try new foods, 'coz it might taste good."
"when you are scared - close your eyes and think of something happy"
"when you are feeling frustrated, take a step back and ask for help"
"when you gotta go, stop and go right away; flush and wash and on my way"
"friends help each other, yes they do its true"

Don't know if its the music; or the genuine innocence of the character faced with real life situations - but it has the complete trust of my 3 yr old :) I hope unlike other cartoons Daniel Tiger keeps growing right with you!!!
Honestly, the episodes are pretty good to gather some parenting tips as well ;) I say, next Nobel Peace (family) to Daniel Tiger.

Agga Magga!

Are you happy?

You really want everyone around you to be "happy" - where happy is the opposite of angry/ upset- this becomes especially important to you after you have done a mischief (small badmashi). While you are doing the mischief on purpose, your purpose is never to make someone angry or upset; but then with some of your deeds our facial expressions and vocal chords give away the obvious. That really bothers you. So what comes out is pretty funny.

• Milosh dips iPhone in a jug of water; sees mommy's shocked face. "Mommy, are you happy?"
• Milosh coloring the walls; Daddy runs to save the day. "Daddy, are you happy?"
• Milosh experimenting with gravity by dropping rice on a freshly cleaned floor. Addressing the sudden silence near the dining area -  "Are you happy?"
• Milosh does pee pee in his bath water. "Are you happy?"

I'll stop now ;) To an outsider the innocence of the question might sound like the parents make the poor soul do these things to make themselves happy! Now you know better!

Well sometimes being upset we would say (more like yell or screaming our lungs) - NO I AM NOT HAPPY! And that's too much for you to take - and  you say - no, you ARE happy. We then have to weigh if we are more upset or you are more upset; sometimes we will calm down soon enough and say - yes, I am happy and hug you. At other times, you chase us a little longer convincing us that we ARE happy. "Be Happy, Okay?"

I like snow...

This is one of your first poems. We went to Stevens Pass for skiing etc (March 2014)- and when you saw snow in the morning, this is what you said:

I like snow on the tree,
I like snow on the car,
I like snow on the road,
I like snow everywhere.

Can I wear my girl pants?

Disclaimer - I hope this does not embarrass you when you grow up, not trying to make fun - just enjoying your childhood :) if it does bother you just forgive your mommy and  remember I am sharing it because I think its completely okay to want to be a girl; or to want to be a boy :)

You do hang out with some little boys - Raidon, Aidan, Teja and Vedanth. But you have always preferred hanging out with girls - your favorite friends have been - Chloe, Aaina, Maya, Elise, Charolette and of course Rhea.

And of course when you like them you want to be like them! So for a few days - every morning and every night you would look in the mirror, say "I'm a boy" and cry for about 5 minutes. "Make me a girl". You really cried hard and were very sad about it. I couldn't even laugh about it :p You once also said - next time I will not get a haircut. Then I would get a hanger or a stick or something - and use it as a magic wand around your head - and turn you into a girl :) - that definitely lifted your spirit!

You knew you are a boy; But at home, you always took comfort in calling yourself a girl. I would ask - who is the sweetest boy in the world; and you would say - I am a girl :)

Around now is the time - that you are starting to learn that you are a boy - and the friends that you really like are all girls! Its either that or simply that you find your pajamas really comfortable - and if it were to you - you would probably wear those all the time, everywhere. For some reason - you call your pajamas girl pants. And what pants you are wearing is extremely important to you - probably because you do believe that wearing these pants does make you a girl! This is one area where you definitely would hold your guns as far as possible. We always had to come up with stories and trick you into wearing regular pants or shorts. On some occasions we negotiated and landed on layering your clothes - you wore girl pants inside; and outside you wore boy pants; and sometimes we would let you wear pajamas outdoors also.

We might arrange a nice playdate for you; or come up with some nice class etc - but your top of mind was which pants you will wear. e.g.
Mommy - we are going to a music class (or a soccer class) today! You - yay! Can I wear my girl pants?


 

I want 5!

You can count to pretty high - but its more like ABCD...  I think you are still getting the concept of counting. As of now - you believe 5 is a really big number. So sometimes I will say - Goja only 2 more minutes of video; and you will say - no - 5! But also the other way round - I would say only 10 more min of climbers - and you would say - no - 5!

How many chocolates do you want? 5!

You also want everyone to be 5 happy :)

Naana Naani and you - Winter 2014

When your naana naani were here this winter, you took a little bit of time adjusting; but then of course you guys had a really nice time. We took you off kindercare, and let you stay home for a few months. This worked out really well - you got to spend time with naana naani; and they also managed to potty train you; and helped take some of your going cough issues go away!

Naani kept thinking of you - and she sent me this email with a few one-liners that she could remember :)

Dont talk , its dark outside.

Nani don't sleep , this is not nap time, this is morning time.

Can you tickle me with your face?

I will not sleep. I shall close my eyes and try to relax.

Daddy you are wasting my time.

One hit one sip. (This is how naana got you to finish your milk every night - he would make a tower of lego - and you would hit it with a ball and make it fall. And then drink one sip of milk.)

Can you gift me your ipad?

I shall hide in the yoga room and you will find me.

Can you tell me blue helicopter story?
Dont laugh, keep it down, which eventually changed to-- you laugh so loudly. I like it very much.

Half circle ...

Your naana naani stayed in Seattle for a few weeks with us (Feb/ Mar 2014); We all used to sit in a circle for dinner. When they left, you were very sad for some time - but since you went to see them off you knew they had left. Next morning you woke up crying - why did naana naani have to go?

Later when we sat down for dinner, you said - today we are half circle!

Help me be the lion king...

This is a small post - but so cute. Rhea had come along - and both of you had put a tonne of rubber bands on your head (till you could see the lines on the forehead) - that were serving as a crown. After Rhea had gone, you needed an audience.

G (roaring): I am a lion king
Mommy ignoring
G repeats, with a rubber band serving as a crown.
Mommy ignoring me.
G: help me be the lion king!

Lion King...

This last spring (2014), we introduced you to Lion King. We went with your naana and naani to watch the musical. We also started playing the music at home - and you absolutely loved it. When we were leaving the theatre - you started singing one of the songs - "in the jungle.. " - and you sang it so well :) - everyone around you smiled looking at a 3 year old singing the song so well!

Naani made a recording of this on her iPad:
Milosh singing Lion King

Lion King songs are currently your favorite to go to bed.

She didn't want the flower... she wanted me

We went to play in the park with Rhea. You guys are so fond of each other - and its always a challenge for us to take you guys apart. So Rhea and her mom were going to the airport; and we were going for dinner. Rhea did not like this arrangement - and she suggested that Milosh should also come to the airport. When we had to say no, she cried a lot. So you picked a little yellow flower from the grass to go give to Rhea - you walked to her and offered the flower. She was not exactly in the mood for flowers and continued with her crying - no I want Mayo to go to airport too.

When we met your daddy for dinner later, I said - Goja was trying to help calm Rhea by giving her a flower. Daddy asked you - oh, that's sweet, did she like it? And you said - "She throw the flower, Rhea was crying. She didn't want the flower, she wanted me"

 

Sticks and stones

You are so fond of sticks - when we go for a walk or a hike - you make frequent stops to carry as many sticks as your little hands will hold.

As cute as it is, it does slow us down - but we have found our way out. We just give you the proper hiking sticks before we start a hike :) - that keeps you busy and moving ;)

Mommy, can I be a flower?

While walking around the neighborhood, you were picking flowers - so to discourage you from doing that, I told you - flowers are happy there and they are at home; they don't like to be plucked.

Two days later, in the morning I was watering some flower plants at home; and you were watching me and this is what you asked me:  "Mommy I don't want to go to school; can I stay home just like the flower? Mommy, can I be a flower?"

The things you would do to not go to school :) You are so tender and fresh and delicate and beautiful - you are always a flower to me!

(Date - April, 2014)

Mommy, does somebody paint the rainbow?

We were in the car, driving back from school to home - and you said you wanted to see a rainbow. Very often you tell us where we should be driving and which way we should go etc - you probably thought rainbow is a fixture in some part of the town - and if we want to see a rainbow - all we have to do is just drive down ;) So I said - there is no rainbow right now and that you usually see rainbow when its raining and sunny. You demanded that it should be raining and sunny right now. I said yeah I want it to be sunny too. Then you asked me - Mommy, does somebody paint the rainbow? :)

Such a lovely and beautiful question. I was speechless and not answering anything after this - instead diving into your imaginations myself. When we got home - I hugged you and kissed you much more than usual :)

I soon shared this on facebook - and so many people loved your lovely question! Your naani said this is a wow question - and your "other one daadi" said Milo is a little philosopher and thinker